Clean Before She Comes

The cleaning lady came today. We don’t actually have a cleaning lady, so it’s a little weird. OK, it’s not so weird. We’re making a bar mitzvah, and someone suggested...

The Way It Is

Blame the Name Names are important. First names can be particularly important, but surnames can also become problematic for some people. We usually feel that a name should match the personality...

A Clever Title Goes Here

By Mordechai Schmutter Bar Mitzvah Planning As someone who’s making a bar mitzvah for the first time, people keep asking me, “Are you excited to be making a bar mitzvah?” Excited? I don’t...

Weekly Kvetch

By Klara Register Your Complaints My hand was shaking when I wrote the check for my daughter’s high school registration this week. $2,000! I have to say it again — $2,000!...

Sofa, It’s Not Working Out

Dear Mordechai, My boys killed my couches. What should I do? Should I replace them? Yes, definitely. Maybe replace them with girls. They don’t ruin couches as much. Oh, wait. It just...

Bent Out Of Shape

Loosely translated, the word schuckel means to bend back and forth while davening, and, in some extreme cases, even to sway from side to side. Schuckeling is something many...

Purim Panic

One of the most annoying things about being a humor writer is Purim. Everyone says, “You’re a humor writer. You must love Purim.” Why? Imagine you were a doctor, and...

Socially Acceptable Outerwear

By Mordechai Schmutter Purim costumes are a lot of fun. We should wear them all the time, right? Wait, why don’t we wear them all the time? Well, I guess we’d get...

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IDF Officer Wounded by Palestinian Sniper: I Was Saved by a Miracle

IDF Lieutenant Bar Vaknin of the elite Givati Brigade declared on Sunday that he was saved by a miracle after being shot in the...

Groups Demand U of Michigan Sanction Educators Advocating BDS

Nearly 60 organizations called on University of Michigan president Mark Schlissel to sanction professors at the public research university who engage in the BDS movement. They...

Israeli Report Shows How Syrian Fire Took Down Russian Plane

Following an urgent meeting between Israeli and Russian military officials after the downing of a Russian spy plane over Syria, a 40-page report reveals...

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