The Way It Is

Blame the Name Names are important. First names can be particularly important, but surnames can also become problematic for some people. We usually feel that a name should match the personality...

A Clever Title Goes Here

By Mordechai Schmutter Bar Mitzvah Planning As someone who’s making a bar mitzvah for the first time, people keep asking me, “Are you excited to be making a bar mitzvah?” Excited? I don’t...

Weekly Kvetch

By Klara Register Your Complaints My hand was shaking when I wrote the check for my daughter’s high school registration this week. $2,000! I have to say it again — $2,000!...

Sofa, It’s Not Working Out

Dear Mordechai, My boys killed my couches. What should I do? Should I replace them? Yes, definitely. Maybe replace them with girls. They don’t ruin couches as much. Oh, wait. It just...

Bent Out Of Shape

Loosely translated, the word schuckel means to bend back and forth while davening, and, in some extreme cases, even to sway from side to side. Schuckeling is something many...

Purim Panic

One of the most annoying things about being a humor writer is Purim. Everyone says, “You’re a humor writer. You must love Purim.” Why? Imagine you were a doctor, and...

Socially Acceptable Outerwear

By Mordechai Schmutter Purim costumes are a lot of fun. We should wear them all the time, right? Wait, why don’t we wear them all the time? Well, I guess we’d get...

The Science Of Parenting

By Mordechai Schmutter School science fairs will always be a staple of our educational system, because research shows that about 78% of scientific discoveries are made by students the night...

Rules For Riding The Elevator

By Mordechai Schmutter When you get into an elevator, you must immediately turn around and face the door. This is non-negotiable. Everyone has to face this direction. This is...

Smart Appliances

By Mordechai Schmutter Sometimes I wonder if our appliances are having conversations about us when we’re not listening. It certainly seems that way. It’s probably group-therapy sessions: Crock-Pot: “OK, let’s start. Anyone...
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Letters to the Editor

  Irresponsible Advice Dear Editor, I was extremely dismayed to read “Monsey Stabber: A Halachic Analysis” in the January 3 issue. The author, although insisting he was...

UK Classifies Hezbollah as Terrorist Group, Freezes Its Assets

BY CNAAN LIPHSHIZ (JTA) — The United Kingdom designated the entire Hezbollah organization as a terrorist group and froze its assets. The Finance Ministry move, which was...

Political Roundup: Nassau County Joins Climate Program

Nassau County Joins Climate Smart Communities Program Nassau County Executive Laura Curran was joined by New York State Senator Todd Kaminsky to announce Nassau County’s...

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