By Tamara Hirsch, LMFT

With the start of the New Year, I began wondering if social media makes me depressed. Do I have FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)? As I scrolled through Instagram, I saw so many people in Israel for Sukkos. People hanging out in the shuk which apparently is the place to be now, with sayings like “living my best life.”

While I hosted my entire family for yom tov (and was truly grateful for that) and had the constant shopping-cooking-cleaning repeat, I saw everyone posting their five course dinners at various restaurants around Israel. Did all of this make me bitter? If I am being completely honest, it did a little. But that is normal being that every time I sat down to unwind, I would scroll through Insta-Stories and there it would be right in my face, one story after the next.

While I think social media is a powerful tool, it is also a dangerous one that can lead to all sorts of depression, anxiety, and, of course, FOMO. Social media is taking over the world. An estimated 2 billion people around the world use social networking sites and at least 80 percent of Americans have at least one social media profile. We are constantly in the rat race, trying to post the best videos, photos, status updates, etc. to receive the mist-like followers and comments. However we are actually trying to brag and showcase the best moments of our lives while we may actually be miserable. This can lead users to constantly compare themselves to others and think less of their own lives, potentially leading to feelings of negativity or low self-esteem.

It seems that teenagers are affected the most. Research studies have shown that teens who use social media for more than two hours a day show tendencies toward a mental health disorder such as depression or anxiety. My 15-year-old daughter came in one night during yom tov and said, “I am so in the mood of being in Israel. Why is everyone there and we are home?” On a daily basis I see many posts about living your best life. How can you truly be in the moment and enjoy your life fully when you are constantly curating it for other people? So focused on getting the best shot, the best angle, or the best lighting? How is it possible that you are truly present when you are constantly on your phone? It is just not possible.

I once saw a couple on “date night,” which I encourage all couples to have on a weekly basis if possible. The lady announced that she would be doing a “live” from the restaurant and was accepting all questions. That sounds like spending real quality time with your spouse!

We think that all of these accounts we follow and their followers have it all figured out. But they do not. Not even close. They are not happier than you, their marriage is not better than yours, and their kids are not cuter than yours or more well-behaved than yours. It’s all fake.

At the end of the day, keep in mind what matters most: connecting in person, human touch, and lasting authentic relationships. Do not allow yourself to get bogged down by the popularity of Instagram photos or Facebook statuses, as that truly can become addicting. Better yet, set aside a specific amount of time per day or per week to unplug from social media or make it a habit to disconnect from technology when you go out on a trip or for dinner. And most importantly, only follow people who inspire you and bring you up as a human being. It’s a New Year — everyone make it your most “real” one yet.

Tamara Hirsch, LMFT, specializes in families, individuals, and couples sessions. Her practice “Talk2Tamara” is conveniently located in Cedarhurst. Call 516-374-1707 or email TamaraHirsch.mft@gmail.com any questions or to schedule an appointment.

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