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Written by David J. Seidemann, Esq.

Thursday, 16 June 2011 11:25

From The Other Side Of The Bench

I can safely say that we have all been overexposed to the textploits of a certain congressman from New York who apparently needs a refresher course in how to tweet. The fact that he acted in a less-than-wholesome way should not necessarily disqualify him from serving in public office. (Who knows what skeletons George Washington had in his closet?)

The fact that he lied to his wife, his constituents, and the American public? Not only isnâ€™t it surprising, but if history is our guide that shouldnâ€™t disqualify him from holding office either. If every public official who misspoke, misremembered, or had to check in to rehab for one failing or another was tossed out of Congress, it would be tough to get a quorum for a vote on anything.

The fact that he got caught? Also not surprising in this day of instant communication. I say toss him out because if that was the best story he could come up with, then we need smarter weirdos in Washington. The greatest irony of the entire affair is that apparently Bill Clinton is upset with him. Thatâ€™s like Beethoven being upset with Mozart!

Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, and all of the â€œsocial mediaâ€ outlets are dangerous beyond belief. Dangerous not just because there is no control as to what our children are being exposed to; dangerous not just because it gives cover to inappropriate contact; but dangerous and fatal because a certain sense of privacy has been lost.

Whatever benefits social media has conferred upon society, we must also recognize the disintegration of face-to-face contact that was the bedrock of sound relationships. There is a certain shallowness and evasiveness that living online has created. The online tweets, texts, and blogs have created faceless communication.

The â€œWebâ€ has created an entire subculture of self-proclaimed experts on subjects no one ever cared about before, and every Tom, Dick, and Harry is now a world-famous personality. Every nobody has become a somebody, and perhaps for the insecure that is good. But for the overwhelming masses, except for news and legitimate business pursuits, the ICE age (instant contact experience) is a dangerous waste of time.

Dangerous because gossip is spreading around the world at record speed. Dangerous because immodesty and indecency are now at the fingertips of the most vulnerable. There is a flip side to danger, and that is caution and warning.

Everything we do is now recorded for all to see. It is almost impossible to go unnoticed. It used to be that only the Master of the Universe would see all. Now, within minutes of a manâ€™s deed, the public can view and comment. We haveâ€”for the worse and not for the betterâ€”become our â€œbrotherâ€™s peeper.â€

Another casualty of the ICE age is the sheer time its involvement takes away from good old-fashioned family time. I am not on Facebook, Twitter, Myspace or any social media outlet that invites the world into my serenity. But I do have two e-mail accounts, a BlackBerry tablet, and two cell phones. I am hounded from the moment I wake up till the moment I try to fall asleep. I am answering phone calls and checking e-mails, most of which are of a non-emergent nature. We have made ourselves available 24/7 when doing so is really not necessary. The fear of being left out or someone beating us to information has made us slaves to the very technology that was intended to set us free.

I am a lawyer and not a heart surgeon. And while I recognize that there is such a thing as a legal emergency, most calls can wait an hour or two to be returned. As far as I know, there is no such organization as Hatzalawyers. If they ever establish an emergency lawyers organization, you can be sure I will join. But until then, I am going to try an experiment. And I invite you, the reader, to join me.

When you get home at the end of the day, designate the first two hours as â€œno electronics time.â€ No computers, no cell phones. No texting, tweeting, facing, spacing, or blogging. Spend that time with your family. Can you imagine how special the spouse and children will feel when you let them know that at least for two hours they come first?

How long will I be able to survive the test? I am not sure, but itâ€™s worth the attempt, even just for curiosityâ€™s sake.

Another danger of all of this Webbing is the unintended recipient, as the congressman can tell you. Items made for private eyes can, with the stroke of a pinky, be sent to an unintended target. Recently, a businessman in this community received from a woman a text message that was intended for that womanâ€™s husband. The mistake, though embarrassing, produced a few laughs.

But sometimes the unintended-recipient problem can produce dire consequences. I recently was informed of a divorcing couple that not only did not know how to stay married, but they did not exercise good judgment in getting divorced either. One spouse sent the other a text message that in pertinent part read as follows: â€œYou are the cause of all the disharmony. If only you would disappear permanently, the rest of us could move on with our lives.â€ Unfortunately, the parent hit the wrong button, and their 12-year-old son received the text. He thought he was the intended recipient and acted upon the directive expressed in the text, seemingly making an attempt to end his own life in the belief that he was the cause of the familyâ€™s breakup.

The parent who sent that text would do anything to be able to hit the reset button. It seems that hitting that button might be a good idea for all of us.

Now contrast â€œWeb lifeâ€ to â€œReb life.â€ I try to attend as many breakfasts as possible in our wonderful Five Towns, and a quick glance at me will reveal that itâ€™s not because I like to eat. Nevertheless, it is difficult to keep up with all of the worthy causes. However, I was fascinated by an article in last weekâ€™s edition of this paper, which spoke of a breakfast this coming Sunday at Shaaray Tefila for a unique kollel headed by Rabbi Dov Bressler. The kollel, as I understand it, is the successor of the one headed by Rabbi Rominek for so many years and is geared for those persons who at a later stage in life have hit the reset button.

I plan to attend this Sunday morning and urge all of you to attend as well. I poked around a bit and found some human-interest stories about various members of the kollel. Yes, expect those stories to make their way soon into this column. In the meantime, may the messages we send be wholesome and uplifting and may they always reach their intended destination.

David Seidemann is a partner with the law firm of Seidemann and Mermelstein and serves as a professor of business law at Touro College. He can be reached at 718-692-1013 or ds@lawofficesm.com.