Building A Torah Home In The Age Of Scandals

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Written by Rav Aryeh Z. Ginzberg

Thursday, 23 June 2011 11:43

Raising children in a healthy Torah home and environment has never been easy, and most often it has been extremely challenging. Whether it was ancient Bavel; during the days of Hillel and Shamai; in the streets of Vilna in the time of the Vilna Gaon; or in the small shtetlach in Eastern Europe in the 19th century, parents have always had to struggle and expend much energy in an attempt to shield their children from the influences of the harmful environment that existed all around them. While no doubt many were successful, our painful history attests to the fact that some were not.

Living in the world today, a world of CNN, instant messaging, Twitter, Facebook, and the colossal power of the Internet, that important responsibility of creating a healthy and moral environment is that much more difficult.

Wherever we turn, there seems to be another scandal, one more shameful than the next. Before Weiner, it was the head of the I.M.F. Before him, the governor of California, and of course not too long ago, maybe the worst one that was just impossible to escape from, our former President Bill Clinton.

Some may follow every tawdry detail of the stories and others try their best to ignore it. But not for one moment should anyone think, whether you live in the Five Towns, Monsey, Boro Park, or Lakewood, that we are immune from the effects of these sordid scandals and the breaches that they make in the very walls that we set up to protect our pure Torah environment.

First and foremost is what it does to the special character of Kâ€™lal Yisrael. Chazal describe us as a nation of people that are compassionate, do acts of chesed, and are â€œbeishanim.â€ Beishanim means having bushahâ€”we are embarrassed.

Several years ago, in the midst of another very public scandal of immorality involving the most famous athlete in the world, the venerated mashgiach of Lakewood, Rav Matisyahu Salamon, shlita, said that all these types of public scandals have removed the bushah from Kâ€™lal Yisrael. We are no longer a nation of beishanim. We may abhor these types of activities, we may even be troubled by them, but we are no longer simply embarrassed by them.

The powerful force of the Internet has removed the bushah from us and from our homes, and as a result, our homes have allowed the immorality of the world to penetrate their walls and into our spiritual fortresses. We must bring bushah back into our homes, said the Mashgiach.

There is no better place to learn of the effects of the environment around us than from this weekâ€™s sidrah. There are many explanations in Chazal as to what motivated Korach to rebel against Moshe and thereby against Hashem himself. We also are taught what motivated Dassan and Aviram to join Korach. What is still difficult to understand is why the 250 men from sheivet Reuvein joined with Korach in his rebellion. After all, what difference would it make to them if Moshe was their leader or Korach was their leader; they would have to follow someone anyway. Why would they get caught up in this terrible machlokes for seemingly no personal gain?

A closer look at Rashi seems to hint to the answer. Just as Korachâ€™s family was camped on the southern side of the Mishkan, so did the sheivet of Reuvein. Just by living side by side with neighbors like Korach, they were influenced to join him in the rebellion, though it made no practical sense whatsoever. This of course led to their ultimate downfall and destruction both in this world and the next.

Is it possible for anyone to believe even for a moment that living through these public scandals, one after the other, with no escaping it wherever we turn, has had no effect upon us and our families?

The Lubliner Rav, Rav Meir Shapiro, ztâ€™l, once came to visit the elderly and ill gadol hador, the Chofetz Chaim, ztâ€™l, and the Chofetz Chaim began to bemoan the fact that the level of tzniyus was going downhill.

Rav Meir Shapiro was a little surprised at the Chofetz Chaimâ€™s statement and asked him, â€œRebbe, you are in very frail health and have been confined to your home already for some time. How do you know that there is a laxity in tzniyus when you donâ€™t go out into the street anymore?â€ The Chofetz Chaim began to protest and said, â€œRav Meir, what are you saying? One can literally feel the tumah in the air.â€

Our ears, which are supposed to be sensitive to kedushah, and our neshamos, that Chazal say are imbued with the middah of bushah, are open to the most sordid stories of human depravity and immorality from congressmen, senators, governors, and yes, even presidents. It is a direct assault on kedushas Yisrael, and it is therefore of little surprise that lately we hear of cases of sexual abuse, of addiction to Internet pornography, and other such indiscretions in our own community. While, baruch Hashem, the cases are few and far between, nevertheless they are devastating and extremely painful to hear about.

Every one of these stories that comes to light and assaults our senses with every sordid detail, makes another breach in the wall of bushah that we have worked long and hard to set up to protect the environment of kedushah in our homes.

I remember when the embarrassing story of a sitting president came to light, I was flying to Eretz Yisrael and had a brief stopover in Amsterdam. I noticed that every newspaper and magazine at the airport newsstand, encompassing more than 30 languages, all had the Presidentâ€™s picture on the cover, discussing detail after sordid detail for the whole world to see.

I asked my rebbe, the late rosh yeshiva of Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim, Rav Henoch Leibowitz, ztâ€™l, if I should speak about it in shul on Shabbos, and he answered me, â€œHow can you not?â€ With each and every one of these stories that attacks the senses of an â€œAm Kadosh,â€ the same question comes in play: â€œHow can I speak about it, and, on the other hand, how can I not?â€

More than a decade ago, I was invited to speak at a gathering of women in Brooklyn, sponsored by an organization promoting the awareness of tzniyus in our community. I was told to expect a large turnout (over 1,200 people attended) and to speak about the mortal danger of the Internet which was just coming in to its own. I really didnâ€™t know what to add to what everyone already knew beforehand.

The night before my address, I attended a wedding in Brooklyn and saw the mashgiach, Rav Salamon, sitting by himself at a table. I quickly approached him and shared with him my dilemma and asked him for advice on what I could say that would have a lasting impression. He told me something so profound and brutally honest that I think about it each day.

He said to me, â€œTell them in my name the following: Each day when I wake up, besides saying â€œModeh Ani,â€ I say a special tefillah to Hashem for allowing me to be born in an earlier generation, for if I had to grow up in todayâ€™s Internet-challenging world, I would not be able to withstand the many nisyonos and challenges that come along with being a Torah and G-d-fearing Jew.

I began and ended the next evening quoting the Mashgiachâ€™s heartfelt grasp of the dangers our children are facing in todayâ€™s world. If he feels incapable of facing todayâ€™s challenges, what should we say, especially in an age of continuous scandals. The choice of when and where we live is not always ours to make; however the choice on how to protect the sanctity and kedushah in our homes in todayâ€™s world is. And our very future depends on it.