From The Other Side Of The Bench

By David J. Seidemann, Esq.

If Dr. Seuss were alive today, he might comment as follows:

I will not watch him enter the hall

I will not watch his speech at all

Instead I’ll go down to the mall

And dream about that great new wall

I’ll count the minutes on the clock

Till we bid farewell to Hussein Barack

I will not watch his farewell speech tonight because it will be nothing more than one of the greatest distortions of history in history. He will spin and spin and spin some more, and try to convince you that the last eight years were the best America has seen since who knows when. And a few of you might even believe him–those of you who still get a tickle up your spine that you were part of history eight years ago when you helped elect the first African-American president. But other than that, his résumé was quite thin.

Many of you learned your lesson and didn’t fall for the allure of electing the first female president simply because she is a woman. She did try to confuse us at times by never wearing a skirt or a dress like most women do, but most of you were not fooled. Most of you learned your lesson.

Experience matters. And the experience has to be positive experience, not necessarily political experience. One has to have a record of success, and being on the job does not mean you did a good job.

I’ll be handing out grades to my college students next week, and while Obama was never a student of mine, I feel qualified to issue him a report card as well as some career advice.

Controlling gun violence–F

Reducing food-stamp recipients–F

Containing healthcare costs–F

Rebuilding infrastructure–F

Reducing the deficit–F

Supporting law enforcement–F

Job creation–F

Foreign trade–F

Combating ISIS–F





North Korea–F



Working well with others–F

Improving the lives of the average African-American–F

Improving America’s respectability in the world–F


Illegal immigration–F

To his credit, he does get an “A” in Socialism Studies. Saul Alinsky would be proud.

For all of his kowtowing to the Arabs, world peace is more elusive than ever before.

Fortunately, although Obama has failed every course, he does not have to repeat the class.

He was in over his head from day one. He could not handle America, let alone the world stage.

In terms of career advice, I would love to suggest that Trump appoint Obama as U.S. ambassador to Kenya. (Yes, I know he wasn’t born there.) Or perhaps now that he has de facto created a new state for the Palestinians, he should be named U.S. ambassador to Palestine, whose embassy would open in Gaza.

On the subject of appointments, Hillary should be appointed as U.S. ambassador to Libya. She is very familiar with the particular security needs of the personnel that might be stationed there.

Obama should leave Washington. He will be nothing but an instigator trying at every twist and turn to save or create a legacy. He will be a thorn in Congress’s side, constantly pontificating and bloviating as to how he had steered America on the right course, only to be frustrated while in office by the Republicans, and now all of his good work will undone by a business mogul with no experience on the world stage.

He should do the respectful thing and disappear from the scene. If he really wants to be of help to his people, he should go back to Chicago and start again as a community organizer. More gang members and thugs occupy Chicago than Jews “occupy” the West Bank.

Go back to Chicago and pass local resolutions that condemn the occupation of guns and knives of the streets of Chicago. Go home and help your people.

If Obama were a football coach, he would have been fired long ago.

I would be inclined to watch his farewell speech tonight if I thought he would tell the stark truth. “I was in over my head. The country and the world stage were too big for me. I got it wrong in every corner of the world, especially in Israel, and still snookered a lot of Jews into voting for me. The people rejected my program and vision. My handpicked successor was beaten by an apprentice.

“I contradicted myself at every turn. I said Jerusalem’s borders would be decided by negotiations between the parties, but then said Jerusalem is being occupied by the Israelis. I empowered the Palestinians to create even more mayhem. My secretary of state said it himself a few days ago. ‘If Trump moves the embassy to Jerusalem the world will explode.’ He shouldn’t have said that. If I were a commander-in-chief who understood the region and understood our relationship with Israel, I would have told Kerry to stare down the Arab world and tell them no country can dictate to another country where they place their embassy. I would have told Kerry to tell the Arab world, you will not burn the Middle East down if we move our embassy to Jerusalem because the fate of Jerusalem has not been settled yet and the embassy can always be moved again.

“I would have told Kerry that simply saying that the region, if not the world, will explode is pre-determining the issue of Jerusalem and giving license to the Palestinians to take by fire what they should talk about at the table. I was in over my head.”

Say that, Mr. Obama–then I’ll watch your speech.

You began your presidency eight years ago with an apology speech to the Muslim world. Now it’s time to apologize to America. When you deliver that speech, call me. I’ll gladly tune in.

David Seidemann is a partner with the law firm of Seidemann and Mermelstein and serves as a professor of business law at Touro College. He can be reached at 718-692-1013 or


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