Rosh Hashanah is approaching, and the thoughts of many are about bringing shidduchim for ourselves, our children, and our siblings this year. Indeed, it is cited from the Bianer Rebbe that the best way to approach Rosh Hashanah is to keep others in mind in our tefillos. Davening for a shidduch for other people is one means by which we can do this.
There are a number of segulos cited in sefarim to help singles find their shidduch. Below are 21 of these segulos, followed by a prayer for singles to recite that was composed by the Chida. The main thing that we should keep in mind is that Hashem sometimes presents us with great challenges in order to foster a stronger relationship with him, one of dveikus. We should never use segulos as a substitution for developing our relationship with Hashem. On the contrary, we should use them to foster that relationship.
- During birchas kohanim on Rosh Hashanah, stand as close as feasibly possible to the kohanim with palms faced upward, as one who asks for abundance and blessing in matters (in the name of Rav Elya Lopian, Derech HaShidduch p. 38).
- Daven with intense kavanah during Aseres Yimei Teshuvah (Yaalzu Chassidim, Rabbi Eliezer Pappo #150).
- Establish some form of gemach (Shiurei Rav Shurkin p. 674).
- Help a chassan and kallah get married. (I am making a wedding for a yasom next week; please email if you wish to assist.)
- Daven for someone else to receive a shidduch — in a genuine way and not just for the idea in Bava Kamma 92a that “One who davens for his friend is answered first.” (Heard from Rav Dovid Kviat, zt’l.)
- Get a berachah from a tzaddik who opens up the gates of berachah (Mesilas Yesharim, chapter 19).
- For a woman: On Seder night, open the door for Eliyahu HaNavi (Rav Aharon Kotler, zt’l).
- Avoiding non-tznius situations is a segulah for finding one’s shidduch quickly (sefarim ha’kedoshim).
- For a man: learn Maseches Kesuvos in depth (in the name of Sheilas Yaakov cited in Zera Yaakov p.193 from Rav Prager, son-in-law of Maharam Schick). Perhaps a woman can help sponsor in-depth learning of Maseches Kesuvos (author’s suggestion).
- Learn Maseches Kiddushin or Kesuvos (Igrasa D’Chedvasa, Rav Mordechai Gross p. 111). Perhaps a woman can help sponsor in-depth learning of either of these masechtos (author’s suggestion).
- Recite this Midrash in Bereishis Rabbah (53:14): “And He opened her eyes: Said Rabbi Binyomin: All are considered to be blind until Hashem opens their eyes. It is from this verse: ‘And Hashem opened her eyes and she went to fill the cask of water.’ This is what is said: she was lacking in emunah. (From the Bobover Rebbe, Rav Shlomo Halberstam, Beis Tzaddikim, page 85.)
- On motzaei Shabbos, say the entire pizmon of Eliyahu HaNavi with kavanah (Mishneh Halachos Vol. 19 289:3)
- Recite the shiras ha’yam with intense kavanah and happiness, as when you recognize Hashem’s miracles, He does more for you. Recite Tehillim 32, 38, 70, 71, and 124 after Shemoneh Esrei (Sefer Refael HaMalach and meforshim elsewhere).
- Recite the berachah of “Sim Shalom” in Shemoneh Esrei with kavanah, keeping in mind Rabbi Tanchum’s statement in Yevamos 62b that says whoever is not married does not have joy, blessing, good things, Torah, and shalom (Rav Alexander Ziskind Shachor, brother-in-law of the Netziv).
- Recite Tehillim 121 before ending every Shemoneh Esrei, at the end of “Elokai netzor” (Sefer Asara Maamaros 4:17).
- Recite Shir HaShirim for 40 days straight (see Mevakshei Torah 5768 #47 for what to do on Tishah B’Av; from Rav Elyashiv).
- For a man: recite Kiddush Levanah with kavanah. Levana has the same letters as “besulah nisais l’yom harevi’i” (Kaf HaChaim 426).
- Perform the mitzvah of shiluach ha’kan (Midrash Tanchuma)
- Daven at the kever of Rav Yonasan ben Uziel in Amuka (Rashi, Yevamos 17a)
- Go to Tsfas to the kever of Rabbi Pinchas ben Yair and go around it seven times; then daven that in the merit of this Tanna you should find a zivug soon. (The author’s mother, a’h, received this segulah from a gadol in Meah She’arim and got her shidduch on the way back from Tsfas to Yerushalayim.)
- Daven for 40 days straight at the Kosel for a shidduch (Derech HaShidduch, p. 36).
In addition, the Chida composed a special tefillah for singles to find their bashert. “May it be Your will to bring to me a proper match, with fear of Heaven and with good character, with good mazal, intelligent, successful, and blessed. For in this I will be able to perform avodas kodesh without struggle. May the shidduch that is presented to me be worthy and have fear of heaven, good character, good mazal, and be proper for me. In Your abundant mercy may she (he) appear pleasant to me and turn my heart to conclude the arrangement in a manner that I can fulfill your mitzvos and it will be beneficial for me in this world and in the world to come.”
Rabbi Hoffman can be reached at Yairhoffman2@gmail.com.