By Hannah Berman

 

Most problems have a solution, and some solutions serve a dual purpose. A perfect example of this duality regards the loss of socks. My washing machine, or perhaps it is the dryer that sits next to it, has a nasty habit of eating socks. Rarely is an entire pair missing. Inevitably, it’s one sock of every pair. I never knew what to do with a single sock that no longer has a mate. But all that has recently changed.

I discovered the perfect answer to the “lost sock” problem. It came to me because I am an incurable news junkie. If I’m home during the day I watch news programs, and if I will be out, I record (DVR) them. If there is a senate hearing, for anyone, for any reason, I have a hard time tearing myself away from the television. If there’s a hearing, relying on the DVR doesn’t appeal to me, so, if possible, I stick around. I didn’t miss a single word of those horrific Kavanaugh hearings when Democrats beat up on the poor man. They presented a woman who accused him of a crime he supposedly committed 35 years ago. The accuser, even with the help of her left-leaning liberal attorneys, was unable to produce a single witness to corroborate what she said. The hearing was to vet Kavanaugh for his qualifications to be appointed to the Supreme Court.

Congress has recently been blessed—or maybe the more accurate word is “cursed”—with the addition of several young women who are making an incredible splash. There are three that are rarely out of the public eye. Rashida Tlaib of Michigan, Ilhan Omar of Minnesota, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York have a lot in common. Regardless of the situation, each one plays the victim by accusing anyone who disagrees with them of doing so strictly because they are females, because they are women of color, or because they are of the Muslim faith. They make outrageous comments that are offensive to any thinking person. Another of their commonalities is that all three of them are as drawn to microphones as bees are to honey.

When I hear any of their diatribes, I find myself screaming at the television and wishing that somebody would shut them up. And then a solution came to me! It happened as I was folding a batch of newly washed clothes. In a moment of clarity, I realized that I could solve two problems simultaneously by taking three of those single socks that so often show up and covering the television set.

It is stunning that anyone could trivialize the tragedy of 9/11 but that is exactly what Omar did in a recent interview. Many people think of her as antisemitic. She is much more than that. She is also anti-American. Her remarks are a perfect example of her always portraying herself as a victim regardless of the situation. Thousands of innocent lives were lost on that horrific September day that we refer to as 9/11, but her claim is that, because she is a Muslim, she is the one who was victimized. This attitude is so-mind boggling that it gives new meaning to the word “chutzpah.” Despite the fact that she and her family were permitted entry into this wonderful country, she feels compelled to bash America at every opportunity.

In the case of AOC, she never misses an opportunity to show herself and to open her mouth. It is apparently of no consequence to her that she knows very little — about anything. How she secured a degree in finance from Boston University is a mystery. That august institution of higher education might want to rethink their program or, at the very least, reconsider who should earn a degree in finance and who should not.

The third member of this unworthy triumvirate is Rashida Tlaib, who showed her true colors early on when she referred to the president of the United States in the most vulgar of terms. She might want to consider heading to the area that is her first love, the one referred to as Palestine. If only somebody would call an Uber and give instructions that she be driven to the airport.

We recently celebrated Pesach, and this year the holiday had some unusual perks. Because there was no television-watching it presented me with a news blackout that gave me a much-needed respite. As always, we began our Seder by retelling the story of our escape from Egypt and when we closed, it was with the age-old hope of “next year in Jerusalem.” Another perk was that, at that moment, I inserted some additions.

I hoped that these newly minted congresswomen might be forced to return to their places of origin. How fitting if Ilhan Omar would find herself back in Somalia. But if that’s too much of a stretch, may she should at the very least be returned to Minnesota and be forced to remain there permanently. Perhaps Tlaib could be encouraged to head back to the city of her birth, Detroit, and to stay there forever. Another item on my wish list was for Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. If only she would hightail it back to the Bronx, which is where she drew her first breath. Maybe she could be persuaded to spend the rest of her life there in anonymity. My fantasy was about how perfect it would be if all three of them could be forever banned from Washington, D.C.

My final wishes are not for the Congresswomen. They are for Linda Sarsour, a Palestinian-American activist who is an outspoken anti-Semitic terrorist. It might be fitting if this Brooklyn home-girl were to be afflicted with intermittent bouts of laryngitis and not be allowed within ten feet of a microphone.

While none of these thoughts is a traditional way to end a Seder, they are my hopes and wishes. That’s just the way it is.

Hannah Berman lives in Woodmere and gives private small-group lessons in mah-jongg and canasta. She can be reached at Savtahannah@aol.com or 516-295-4435.

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