Real Estate with Anessa Cohen

If Andy Rooney were a Five Towns real estate broker and stuck in this fantasy no-snow snowstorm, what might he have said?

That each white hair on his head came from one of the deals he made?

That we do not have nearly enough kosher restaurants for every person in this town?

What should I do with all the magnets from places that no longer exist in town?

Some homes really look great in the snow!

What is the secret to Far Rockaway schools staying open during snowstorms? Is the rumor that they bought dog sleds true? Maybe it just snows less in Far Rockaway?

Do you think that a percentage of the value of a house should come down to how fast its street gets the snow plowed in the winter?

What is the point of living within walking distance to the train, for emergencies, if the trains are not working when you get to the station?

If a homeowner does not shovel his driveway and sidewalk, and his house is on the real estate market, does this mean he is not very motivated?

Due to the infrequency of snowstorms lately, maybe the shuls should arrange a shiur on “How to Shovel Snow” given by the local chiropractors, followed by a dentist giving instructions on how to deal with the “candy man.”

If a homeowner keeps the heat so low that you can see your breath in the air, is there a problem, or just an attempt to save money on fuel?

A homeowner greets the broker and the prospective buyers at the door, takes their coats, and gives them a ticket for her coat check closet; what does this mean?

A buyer looking for a house tells the broker she does not care about the kitchen because she never cooks … and then fights to keep the extra refrigerator and freezer in the garage. Hmm.

You suddenly realized that Cedarhurst Village permit parking can also be used on Fridays near at least four shuls for parking over Shabbos. Does this mean the price of parking is now a bargain?

Heard through the grapevine that one of the shuls here in town is considering a “potluck cholent dinner” to be served on a weekday once a month to attract new members. My question is: what do you put into cholent to get the flavor of potluck?

 

Anessa Cohen lives in Cedarhurst and is a licensed real-estate broker (Anessa V Cohen Realty) and licensed N.Y.S. mortgage originator with over 20 years of experience offering full-service residential, commercial, and management real-estate services as well as mortgage services. She can be reached at 516-569-5007 or via her website, www.AVCrealty.com. Readers are encouraged to send questions or comments to anessa@AVCrealty.com. Read more of Anessa Cohen’s articles at 5TJT.com.

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