Much has been written about the shidduch situation. The number of singles who sincerely want to get married but who have not found their respective lifetime partners is staggering. A team of noted experts may have discovered a solution for what is possibly the greatest challenge facing the Orthodox community. Dr. Yael Respler, Moshe Coan, LCSW, and Rabbi Daniel Schneierson (who grew up in Lawrence), have formulated a system that involves helping singles to accurately identify their unique personality types and subsequently directing them to those individuals with whom they are most compatible.
Dr. Respler and Moshe Coan are the intellectual driving force behind YourBashert.com’s unique compatibility matching system. A renowned columnist for the Jewish Press, Dr. Respler has counseled singles and couples for many years. She speaks at venues all over the world and hosts her own radio show. Moshe Coan is a marriage therapist with a private practice in Teaneck. He conducts workshops and is an avid writer.
Serving in a dual capacity, Rabbi Daniel Schneierson is both YourBashert.com’s rabbi and financial guru. He studied under Rav Hershel Shachter and Rabbi Menachem Genack and at Lakewood Yeshiva. After receiving semichah, he went on to pursue a successful career in finance and is expected to contribute greatly to the success of YourBashert.com. Rabbi Schneierson is continuing his family’s legacy of working on behalf of Klal Yisrael. His parents were the third Orthodox family to move into Lawrence in 1956 and helped build the community. His father, Rabbi Joel Schneierson, zt’l, served as president of the White Shul for several years and was heavily osek b’tzarchei tzibbur, along with his eishes chayil, ylc, Charlotte, who served as president of AMIT.
Working in tandem for the greater good, the Your Bashert team of highly regarded professionals cut to the chase, creating a unique website for singles seeking to find their bashert and begin building a bayis ne’eman b’Yisrael quickly and effectively. Your Bashert Inc. and YourBashert.com were born out of a combined mission and objective of helping singles find their bashert by using state-of-the-art computer technology to quickly identify highly compatible dating partners. The Your Bashert system utilizes the power of a research-based compatibility questionnaire that is designed to match singles according to their degree of compatibility.
“The business plan was created in July 2011 and we rapidly moved to implement it by hiring a top web development firm,” Moshe Coan explained. “The site went live about two weeks ago. The computer algorithm matches people according to their respective personalities and hashkafos before they even go out on a date. Our intention is to help prevent people from entering into unsuitable marriages which are based on shallow and superficial criteria. These types of marriages are plagued by conflict and frustration and often end in divorce.”
“YourBashert.com is currently the only Jewish Orthodox website service that has a thorough personality screener which can drill down and match people according to their degree of compatibility,” Rabbi Schneierson told the 5TJT. “In addition, on the advice of rabbanim, our algorithm is programmed to properly match people according to their level of hashkafah, thus avoiding dates that are way off target and relationships that are not in accordance with each single’s life goals.”
Operating strictly under rabbinical guidance, YourBashert.com is endorsed by Rabbi Moshe Heinemann, shlita, rav of Agudas Yisroel of Baltimore and rabbinical director of Star K Kashrus; Rav Hershel Schachter, shlita, rosh yeshiva and rosh kollel RIETS Yeshivas Rabbeinu Yitzchak Elchanan; and Rabbi Shlomo Singer, Yeshiva RTI of Passaic.
Dr. Respler holds a Ph.D. in psychology and is trained in cognitive behavior therapy and marital therapy. She has helped marry off over 100 singles by employing premarital therapy techniques. She applies Torah principles heavily in her practice, her columns, and in her public speaking engagements.
“By far the most pressing problem facing singles in our community is the great difficulty they experience trying to find compatible dating partners,” Dr. Respler told the 5TJT. “We literally have tens of thousands of frum singles of marriageable age who spend years going out on hundreds of dates with individuals who are incompatible with them. This is a recipe for frustration and heartache. What we need to do is help the singles and their shadchans locate suitable compatible dating partners. Most shadchans will tell you that they are overloaded with clients. Moreover, since the human mind can only encompass a certain amount of information at one time, many clients are inadvertently overlooked or treated perfunctorily by their shadchan. They wind up being set up on dates that are based on shallow or superficial criteria.”
How will YourBashert.com help alleviate the ever burgeoning shidduch crisis and minimize the disappointment and frustration so many singles experience with each date? “YourBashert.com will narrow down the field and effectively screen out incompatible dating partners,” said Dr. Respler. As soon as the single takes the questionnaire form on YourBashert.com, he or she will be presented with a list of highly compatible matches. From there, the single can communicate with their counterpart, either via e-mail or by phone.
Alternatively, they can utilize their respective shadchanim as their intermediaries, just like in traditional shadchanus. The shadchan will give and provide character references and help their clients navigate the road to the chuppah. With the research-based compatibility matching system and fantastic corps of excellent shadchanim, we hope to make it much easier for singles to find their bashert.”
She adds, “I will be hosting a weekly call-in teleconference for ‘YourBashert, where we will be answering any questions regarding relationship issues. Finally, I would ask that shadchanim—and anyone else, for that matter—please become part of our affiliate referral program. In order to create a huge database that will help every single find their bashert, we will compensate affiliates for their referrals. Please go to ‘Referral Program’ on YourBashert.com for further details.”
Dr. Respler would like to encourage readers to contact each single they know and tell them about YourBashert.com. “We are currently offering a 60 day free trial with no credit card required. This is the perfect opportunity for singles to try out the site and discover how useful a tool it is.”