Many people have expressed concern over the security and trust with which the money from the shidduch program that the NASI Project recently launched will be handled. To that end, the NASI Project would like to publicize the following:
You may have noticed that there is no information in the ad as to where to send money. That is because we will not take a penny from anyone until people are totally familiar with the program and are comfortable and confident that their money is secure.
We are in the process of setting up airtight, transparent oversight of the funds. All outgoing checks will require two signatures, one of which will be of a rosh yeshivah. A well-known accountant will be hired to provide professional auditing. We are actively seeking input from experts in the field (law/accounting) regarding how to set it up in the best possible way that leaves no room for question or for any kind of misuse of the funds.
When this system is set up, it will be publicized. Not a single check will be accepted beforehand. We are currently telling young women wishing to sign up that although their place on the list is reserved, we are unable to accept checks until the system is set up. This has been taking somewhat more time than we thought.
We would like to take the opportunity to address some of the issues that perhaps were not fully explained in last week’s letter that appeared in various media outlets. A very legitimate issue has been brought up by a number of individuals, and it is one we contemplated before we started the program. There will definitely be some who cannot come up with these amounts of money—even for Eliyahu HaNavi. Not only will those young women not be able to get on the list, but they will actually be hurt because “everyone else” is on the list and getting attention.
There are two possibilities: either the program works (the girls on it get married at a significantly higher rate), or it doesn’t. In the event it does not work, we will all be in the same position we were when the program started. In the event is does work and young women on the program marry at a significantly higher rate, it will become apparent that this (give or take) is the true and fair cost of making a shidduch. By maintaining communal norms that do not allow shadchanim concentrating on older singles to be fairly compensated, we have created a shortage of these shadchanim and, as a result, left many individuals unnecessarily single.
In the event the program is successful to the point it becomes clear that women on the list marry at a significantly higher rate, we as a community will have two possible ways to create parity between the haves and have-nots. We can cancel the program and let everyone suffer, or we can find a way to make it work for everyone, possibly with some form of communal involvement.
We wouldn’t advise any individual or any community to raise money now to help young women join this list. But if it’s so successful that 90 out of every 100 are joining and staying in the list, that obviously means it is working; young women are being redd shidduchim and weddings are happening, because otherwise why on earth would so many people give and let NASI hold such large amounts of money when they can take it back at any time? In such an event, undoubtedly the community will come up with the rest of the money.
Can there be a bigger communal chesed than having identified the price/cost that it takes to get a girl married?
And remember, these communal funds will only get used once the girl(s) walks down the aisle.
One final point regarding our first program from four years ago. The program was that if someone made a shidduch and the boy was over 21 and less than two years older than the girl, the shadchan received $750. If the boy was less than one year older, the shadchan received $1,250, and if the girl was older than the boy (by at least three months), the shadchan received $2,000. There are still a number of outstanding claims from that program, and people are asking, “What’s going on?”
Being that it was dependent on the ability to raise funds to cover the payouts, it was announced when the program was launched that it was subject to funds’ availability. That point aside, well over $125,000 was given out to shadchanim who made such shidduchim. That money was raised by one individual, a kollel yungerman. The program was b’H so successful that we realized it couldn’t last forever. A decision was made to set a date for a few months in the future, after which we wouldn’t accept any new claims. Unfortunately, what happened was that girls’ and boys’ families took advantage. When a qualifying shidduch got engaged, instead of giving standard shadchanus to the shadchan, they gave some minimal amount, say $360, and said “go to NASI; they will give you.”
This was totally wrong, as that wasn’t the intention of the program. In addition, being that we were falling behind with raising the money, the shadchanim were actually getting stiffed as they were not getting compensated by the parents or NASI. As such, the program was stopped abruptly to all new claims.
That being said, all outstanding claims are still on file; if and when we have the money we will pay it out. If we don’t have that money, we simply can’t pay. In the last few years, as you must have noticed, the economy isn’t great and fundraising hasn’t exactly been easy.
(Note: Money from this new program will not be allocated to those claims. Girls joining this list will not be paying towards that program.)
Recently, a woman who had this complaint contacted us and after hearing this explanation she suggested we write a letter to all those people explaining what I just wrote. And she is 1000% correct. Unfortunately we simply don’t have the manpower. I wish and beg that we had more people. This isn’t my day job, nor is it the day job of anyone involved in running the program. When we offered to send her the list of outstanding claims and allow her to send out the letters in our name, she politely declined. We’d make the same offer to anyone else who is interested.
Chaim Tropper
NASI Project
Nasishidduch@gmail.com