Other Side of the Bench by David Seidemann

 

Another semester in the books. Literally. When I began teaching at Touro College over ten years ago, I naturally recorded each student’s name in my roll book. Not only their name, but their contact information, including cellphone numbers and email addresses.

In turn, I provided each student with my email address, my office phone number, and my cellphone number. I encouraged the students to reach out to me whenever a pressing issue was at hand or simply to say hi. Over the years, students have served as interns in my law office and have graced our home for weekends, holidays, and for Sunday barbecues. I have attended their weddings and they have been invited to the weddings my wife and I have made for our children.

I have filled up three roll books over the years and have not discarded any of them. To this day, my most recent students’ names are a glance away, as are my students from that first semester years ago.

The other day, while taking an afternoon walk with my wife, we ran into a former student of mine, from that first semester hundreds of students ago and from what seems like hundreds of years ago. I love glancing through the old roll books, reaching out every once in a while — to be sure, not often enough — to my students from yesteryear.

Just last week, I read an advertisement in this fine paper featuring one of my former students who is now a successful businessman. I think the term is “nachas,” although I am not sure I can claim any credit for his success.

The student I met last week on the street was one of my most challenging students. I wrote an article about him probably 10 years ago about how he began a course of correction while he was a student of mine and of what transpired at the summer barbecue I made for his class at my home. I repeated just this past week at Touro’s open house for its Institute of Professional Studies, Machon L’Parnasa.

Today is my last class with the students in what is termed the summer one session before a week off before the summer two semester begins. As always, I will leave the students with a parting message in about eight hours from the time I am writing this article. I will use this forum as my practice run, my outline.

I will tell my students to make it a point to notice something about everyone they come into contact with. It could be an important fact or characteristic or a minuscule, meaningless fact. By noticing something, anything, about their neighbor, they will in all likelihood notice more things about themselves.

I will tell them to guide their decisions not by the metrics of yesterday but by their current situation. The principles of yesterday should control, but the implementation should be guided by present circumstances.

I will tell them not to be defined by others’ opinions of them but that they should be sure to define themselves. Most of the time, when others will be critical of their behavior, the students should remember that, more likely than not, the problem lies with the person seeking to find fault. Do not take the bait. Let the other person become angry.

In this age of Zoom, I will tell my students not to let the “host” — be it a person, a movement, or the government — mute them. Push that unmute button and be heard.

I will tell them that to succeed in life you not only need to go the extra mile but the extra smile. Take the initiative to appreciate someone else’s circumstance and act in a way that puts a smile on their face. By way of example, we have been having outdoor minyanim in our little enclave of Sutton Park since permitted to do so as a result of coronavirus. After the second week, the sanitation workers approached me and offered to adjust their trash pickup schedule so as not to interfere with the timing of our services. A few days later the UPS driver made the same offer. I thanked them but assured them that it was not necessary. Go that extra mile.

Lastly, I will tell my students to keep a roll book. Write it all down, the successes and the failures. Read the page with the failures and then discard it. Do not harp on the failures. Then read the page of successes and keep it forever. Save it to the cloud. Remember everyone and stay in touch.

David Seidemann is a partner with the law firm of Seidemann and Mermelstein and serves as a professor of business law at Touro College. He can be reached at 718-692-1013 or ds@lawofficesm.com.

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