By Anessa V. Cohen

Enjoying the carnival. The latest organization placing bids with the Lawrence Board of Education in an attempt to purchase the Woodmere No. 6 School is the Brigadoon Zoological Society. The director, Geri McMonkey, states that he heard from his friends that a carnival atmosphere had been created in searching for a buyer who would really fit in with needs of the neighborhood. “There is no buyer that can offer the Five Towns community what we can,” said Mr. McMonkey. “We can create a magical children’s zoo for all to come and visit, and because of our unique situation whereby we are only visible one year every one hundred years, the community can retain use of the playgrounds and ball fields for the other 99 years. It’s a win-win situation for all!”

A referendum will be presented for vote to the Five Towns community on a blackboard posted on the No. 6 School property on Purim day. Plenty of chalk will be available for those wanting to put their notch. We will wait to see how the voters feel about this option and whether or not this can work, since the school district will only be able to collect school taxes from the Brigadoon Zoological Society once every one hundred years when they visibly appear.

(Brigadoon was a musical Broadway show many years back which centered on a magical Irish village that only visibly appeared once every one hundred years for a short time and then disappeared again until the next hundredth anniversary.)

Home sales being railroaded. There is a new citizens committee forming to represent homeowners with properties or homes abutting the tracks or stations of the Long Island Rail Road. According to one of the founders of this group, the purpose of this committee is to gain special rights for homeowners having to deal with the extra noise and dirt associated with living adjacent to the train tracks and train stations. The group plans to lobby for free ridership on the railroad for their members as well as request tax reductions based on the number of trains going past their properties each day.

On hearing the demands of this newly formed committee and the likelihood that their lobbying demands might actually be met, potential new homebuyers now living and working in the city have been seen knocking on doors of many of these properties asking the homeowners if they are interested in selling.

A spokesman from the LIRR’s quick-response team countered their demands with offers of noise-canceling Bose headsets for each member of the family for those homeowners neighboring the train tracks and stations, adding that the headsets should be transferrable to all new owners when the homeowners sell their properties. No response as yet from the homeowner’s committee.

Pie in the sky. Why was the tomato red? He saw the salad dressing!

What do you call Five Towners who do not like sushi or pizza? Misnagdim!

I had an opportunity to talk to a potential new pizza-store owner now in the process of opening up a new place in town. I asked him, “What made you decide to open a pizza store in our town?” He answered, “I wanted to make some dough!” When I told him there were many pizza stores already in town, he said, “My pizza is going to smell like sushi!” I guess we have a shortage of pizza and sushi in town!

Have a Happy Purim, everybody! v

Anessa Cohen lives in Cedarhurst and is a licensed real-estate broker and a licensed N.Y.S. mortgage originator with over 20 years of experience, offering full-service residential, commercial, and management real-estate services (Anessa V Cohen Realty) and mortgaging services (First Meridian Mortgage) in the Five Towns and throughout the tri-state area. She can be reached at 516-569-5007 or via her website, Readers are encouraged to send questions or comments to

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