By Brad Berfas, Esq.

Life was great! Or so you thought.

You have two young children, who are thriving, and an established career. Then come the dreaded words, “We need to talk,” followed by: “I want a divorce.” Those words have been echoing in your head for days. You have been contemplating this idea for months but never had the courage to leave. In a way, you’re glad you both desire a divorce, that you’re finally on the same page for the first time since the end of those blissful early days of marriage.

Divorce is in your control if you allow it to be. Although the pain and suffering, the debilitating stress, and the fear of the unknown are all there, the process of getting divorced is what you make of it. You can travel down the path of hiring the most reputable divorce attorney as you search for the best of the best. Who is that “shark?” Who will terrorize my spouse on the stand? Who will get me all that I am entitled to?

But you must understand that this destructive path only leads to a win-lose outcome. One spouse supposedly “wins” and the other “loses,” with astronomical costs, dire consequences, and stress and anxiety of monumental proportions. The only people who benefit are the attorneys and their children — not yours. Cases drag out indefinitely, regardless of the county in which you reside. You miss time from work; you fight and argue. Perhaps your case is settled in two years, but do you really want the judge to decide the dwelling place for your children?

There must be an answer to this conundrum. You need to come to an agreement and find a happy medium, one that is less stressful, less anxiety-filled, and less financially burdensome, one that you and your children can only benefit from—a win-win solution. There is only one answer: mediation.

Mediation is clearly the best way to resolve your differences amicably so that you can both obtain the best possible outcome in a divorce settlement and family plan. It is a therapeutic alternative to litigation and the only sane way to get divorced. While we are not painting getting divorced as a taking a trip to Disney World, with mediation you will be able to move forward sooner and faster and start anew. Gone is the added stress of constant trips to court. Gone is the burdensome strain of untold legal fees. With mediation, you will have the ability to move forward utilizing a positive, emotionally healthy, and mutually beneficial approach that will pay dividends long term. A win-win outcome equals peace and harmony.

Furthermore, mediation sessions address all of your marital concerns, including custody issues, finances, and equitable distribution. Remaining completely neutral and unbiased, mediators assist you in navigating difficult territory and arriving at a settlement agreement that both parties agree with. Our goal is to get you to see the win-win in divorce. A husband and wife acting as one for the benefit of their children will reap long-term success for all parties involved. If you listen to the chorus urging you to go the route of litigation—including your parents, friends, neighbors, and your postman, who are not living your life—then you only have yourself to blame in the end. Mediation gets the job done in a more efficient, timely, stress-free, financially less burdensome, more productive way.

The choice is simple: friendly divorce or adversarial divorce. I think you know the answer. Visit or call 855-BOTH-WIN. We get the job done right for you!


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