By Malkie Gordon Hirsch Magence
The mecca of gastronomy on my son’s culinary totem pole is Dunkin’ Donuts. Even as I write this, the shame of it all threatens to overwhelm me.
As someone who prides herself on curating daily dinners that are a combination of things my kids will agree to eat and things that I want them to try, this pains me.
The fact that he’d prefer eating mass-produced “sourdough” bread with a round rubbery microwaved egg and plastic-like cheese melted on top instead of a meal made lovingly by me that doesn’t come in a paper bag is a source of angst and I wonder how on earth this happened.
We actually traded in making his bar mitzvah party at Top Golf for a series of Dunkin runs. The fact that he actually agreed to forego something most kids really look forward to for those sugary fruit drinks called Dunkin Refreshers is something that might boggle our minds for a lifetime.
I don’t like fast food, and I never have.
The only thing I will order is something I don’t know how to make at home, like sushi or the occasional Chinese takeout.
Everyone needs a break from time to time but the thrill I get out of making my own meals is a feeling unparalleled from opening a bunch of takeout boxes and feeding my family food that I didn’t prepare.
At this point, I dream about different cooking applications and need to try it before I could stop obsessing how to smoke an entire packer (otherwise referred to as a whole brisket) or convincing myself that I, a housewife from Woodmere, can whip up entremets (French pastries) in my kitchen without any formal culinary training.
I guess there’s a thrill to discovering abilities that can lie dormant within you for years until you need them, and for me, one of those things is taking basic ingredients and creating something special with them.
As an Orthodox Jewish woman, I know there’s so much pressure and expectation placed on us women from the moment we get married and establish our homes.
Women who spend most of their day outside of the home as well as those working part time are expected to take charge of their kitchens and maintain running lists of menus, meal planning, the prep and cooking, as well as keeping up with the inventory so things don’t run out in the middle of running a Michelin star rated kitchen (in our dreams) in the middle of suburbia.
Mind you, this is while keeping tabs on the kids, making sure every item in their closet they claim fits actually does, and making sure you too have clean clothes to show up in shul to.
This is the time of year when the cookbooks are stacked mile high on the countertops, scanning over notes scribbled in the margins of your favorite food publications to remind yourself what went over well and also changing recipes slightly to accommodate each family.
On a personal note, it’s a time when I get messages from both people I do know and those I’ve never met, asking questions about how to prepare this dish or that.
The WhatsApp cooking chats are up and running at full force with people needing help executing recipes, and inspiration for the indecisive ones who need to plan meals and maybe never have.
On a year like this one, when so many three-day holidays are quickly approaching, you just start making everything you know how to make in a panic, it can all be overwhelming.
But at the heart of it all, we should all keep in mind that there will be plenty of food, that the kids will most likely get holes in all the new clothes you just bought them and that everyone gathered at your table won’t remember each dish you painstakingly prepared, but the feeling they had sitting there and enjoying the company.
This particular holiday is about reflecting on the year that passed, seeing where life went well and also knowing that there’s room for improvement in other areas.
Sort of like that recipe that needed tweaks on the salt, we too get to practice that method in day-to-day life.
It’s a time for self-introspection, forgiveness, and grace for others as much as for yourself in all matters of life.
So, when the dishes are finally cleaned and things calm down, and you finish this article, go over to the women (and men) that made this yontif possible and acknowledge their hard work. Thank them for their hard work and know that that gesture can make the biggest difference when it comes to them having to devote so much time to something like making the holiday a memorable experience.
Wishing you all a ksiva vchatima tova and a sweet new year. n
Malkie Gordon Hirsch is a native of the Five Towns community, a mom of 5, a writer, and a social media influencer.
