By Rabbi Benny Berlin
To pose a rather morbid question: what would you do if you had an envelope containing the exact moment of your death? Would you dare to open it, or would you prefer to remain blissfully unaware? Responses to this dilemma tend to be divided. Some people want the knowledge to live fearlessly, while others would rather embrace the uncertainty to fully enjoy each day. But what if you could discover whether you would live through the coming year? Would that timeframe strike a balance between knowing and not knowing?
The Gemara in Horiyos provides a method for this. Rabbi Ami suggests that someone wishing to know if they will live through the year should light a lamp during the Aseret Yemei Teshuvah in a windless room. If the lamp continues to burn until the oil runs out, it is seen as an omen they will survive the year.
Despite the intrigue of this Gemara, it has never become a widespread Jewish practice to conduct such a test. Moreover, what exactly about this ritual signifies life or death? A deeper understanding is needed.
Rav Yitzchak Stollman, in his “Minchat Yitzchak” (vol. 4, p. 239), explains that the lamp’s light symbolizes the human soul, as stated in Mishlei: “Neir Hashem Nishmas Adam.” Our souls are constantly influenced by external forces—some winds threaten our spiritual vitality. It is crucial to reflect on the “winds” affecting you—what is endangering your stability and growth?
Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski once said that when the microwave was invented he found that he had less time. When there was an oven he would put the potato in the oven and come back after 45 minutes of doing something else. Whereas with the microwave he found himself standing and waiting/watching until the food was done. For him, he realized that technology was sidetracking him.
For others, the winds might manifest as a relentless pursuit of wealth. Rabbi Noah Muroff (from New Haven, CT) and his wife once bought a used desk for $200. When they struggled to get it through the door, they discovered a bag containing $98,000 in cash hidden inside. Rather than keeping it, they returned it to the owner, using the experience to teach their children about honesty and integrity—perhaps that lesson was worth far more than the money.
Contrast this with Rabbi Kelemen who points out that when he asked the principal of one of the largest Jewish high schools in the U.S. what the biggest challenge he faced was, the principal reported: “Parents spend thousands of dollars a year in tuition to send their children to our school where, along with calculus and chemistry, we are expected to teach some semblance of ethics. Then, on Sunday, the parents take their child to an amusement park and lie about his age in order to save five dollars on the admission fee.” To save five bucks they risk the tens of thousands of dollars of education.
As we approach Yom Kippur, the tefillos that parents recite to bless their children on erev Yom Kippur offers a fitting starting point for soul-searching. We say, “May it be Your will that You place in their hearts love and reverence for You. May their desire be for Torah and mitzvot. May their eyes seek truth, their mouths speak wisdom, and their hearts meditate in awe.” Notably absent from this blessing are wishes for wealth, discounts, and academic or material success.
Similarly, in my work as a communal rabbi, I often find myself either attending or officiating funerals. As family members memorialize their recently departed loved one, I never find that anyone mentions their loved ones’ grades or earthly possessions. When everything is on the line, when the light is flickering, it is back to the basics, focusing on what they were about and the impact they had on those around them.
May our fire remain strong this year. May none of our distractions blow out our flame. May our Yom Kippur experience jolt us into clarity. May the lights in our souls stop flickering and return to their steady power force. n
Rabbi Benny Berlin is the rabbi of BACH Jewish Center located in Long Beach, New York. For more information, visit BACHLongBeach.com.
