Many of my earlier columns described the nature and mechanisms of trauma. A terrible experience can lock parts of our mind and body into a vise-like grip which keeps the thoughts, feelings, sensations, and memory fragments of that event deeply embedded within us. Later in life, a traumatized person can experience recurring flashbacks of the traumatic event. In this case, he may feel a sudden panic, fear, sadness, reactive anger, or physical distress which are echoes of the past trauma that still lingers inside. Of course, those who engage in appropriate intervention and seek professional care can learn to dislodge some of that internalized distress.
At times, when I work with patients who struggle with unhappiness and discontent in life, I recommend that we travel along the same track as we would when addressing past traumas, but instead of focusing on the negative part, that we work on rediscovering past pleasures. Scientists know from the study of trauma that the human brain can have an almost indelible memory for negative or bad experiences. The brain and the body seldom forget deeply disturbing events, and in fact, our memory seems to network all the past trauma into a fluid core so that any subsequent trauma can activate a flood of all the past feelings, memories, sensations, or thoughts that are the byproduct of that network of past pain.
A trauma in the present can trigger an individual by evoking the shock of their prior histories of traumatic events. For example, I worked with a patient who was struck in a car accident and was deeply affected by the tragedy. After about a year of treatment, he was better and once again able to drive and function. Then, about two months later, he was struck again in an accident. The shock of the second accident was profound and debilitating, yet complicated due to the resurgence of the first accident and its effects on him. This is the track of trauma upon which the stored memories of the past travel.
When I guide a patient to get on the track toward past pleasures, we aim to access and activate the happy memories, situations, and occasions when life felt good. Human memory stores good events as well as tragic ones, although the Talmud Yerushalmi states that bad memories can last longer and sink deeper in the subconscious than happy ones. I have found that when a person can float back in their mind to happier times and reactivate the thoughts, feelings, sensations, and images of that experience, some of that positivity can begin to infuse the person with good feelings in the present. Many of us have daydreamed at times about a nice memory and suddenly a smile appears on our face. This is the memory network operating, because those good feelings still lurk within us. When triggered, they can come back to us in the present and help heal the present trauma.
We are almost ready for the Yamim Noraim. We will recite the Zichronos, the reminders that Hashem recalls every action throughout the year. These are intense holy days for Jewish people because we focus on repenting, atoning, and resolving to be better. Many of us are apprehensive, even scared, during this season, which is one reason why the term Noraim has emerged to refer to these days (this was discussed in last week’s article). But this is also a time to look with gratitude at the things that went well for us during the past year. We use these days to appreciate and have Tovos Zichronos, good memories of good events in our lives. I recommend that we consider traveling the track of pleasant memories, identifying and enumerating the times when Hashem was good to us. Rather than post-traumatic distress, let’s make room for post-chesed gratitude. Recounting all the positive outcomes in our lives, the feelings of relief and gratitude that we experienced, can ignite within us an increase in positive emotions as earlier contentment resurfaces. Equally valuable is the affirmation that Hashem shows us compassion and kindness, and when we track back to memories of times when we felt Hashem cared for us, our outlook becomes more positive and our consciousness of His presence is stronger and more meaningful. But we must practice this. Working on adjusting our attitude and boosting our mood requires time and effort. It is excellent preparation for the days ahead. Ksivah v’Chasimah Tovah. n
Rabbi Dr. Dovid Fox is a forensic and clinical psychologist, and director of Chai Lifeline Crisis Services. To contact Chai Lifeline’s 24-hour crisis helpline, call 855-3-CRISIS or email crisis@chailifeline.org. Learn more at www.chailifeline.org/crisis.
