By Malkie Gordon Hirsch Magence
Have I got a story for you!
It’s always nice when something out of the ordinary takes place, and when it’s something like what happened last Friday night, I don’t call a friend and tell them about it. Instead, I usually jot it down in my notes app after Shabbos to say to you all. Saves me phone time and all.
One of my favorite comments that people make regarding kids growing up so fast is that they express total shock at how rapidly it’s happening.
I usually smile and say that it happens to most of us. When you don’t see the child of a friend or acquaintance for long enough, the last time you recall seeing them freezes them in that moment of time. For example, my friend, Ayelet’s daughter, who I could’ve sworn became a bat mitzvah recently, suddenly became a married woman celebrating sheva brachos this past Shabbos.
As we walked into the shul to attend Friday night dinner in the newlywed’s honor, Ayelet (way too young to have a married daughter since we’re all still 30) greeted us and told me that the seating was open and that we should sit where we like.
I spotted a mutual friend, Leah, who had already sat down and took my seat next to her. We chitchatted awhile and I looked at our table, a mishmash of friends, neighbors, and a man we didn’t recognize and assumed was a friend of the chassan.
The conversation flowed from one subject to the next, covering nice ground, discussing the hundred different schools my kids attend, shidduchim that Leah’s son has recently embarked upon, and schools in Israel that Leah had to blindly decide upon since her eldest daughter was a senior and had decided to apply to two schools Leah knew nothing about.
Now, as lovely as it is that there are way more places in Israel to send children from all walks of hashkafot, it can also be extremely daunting to choose the right place for a child.
So much has to align to make it a year where they can get as much out of it as possible, and my friend wasn’t taking that responsibility lightly. As Leah mentioned both schools in the running to me and then mentioned that Leah’s daughter wouldn’t consider other options, Ayelet’s neighbor interjected.
“I think Rabbi Fuchs teaches in that school,” she stated and motioned toward the mystery man who we didn’t know, sitting to her husband’s right.
Leah shook her head in disbelief and smiled.
She then asked him if he taught there.
He replied, “My mother runs the school, and I’ve been teaching there for the last 13 years. I’d love to arrange a meeting for you when she arrives in town next week to meet prospective students.”
Leah turned back to me and raised the new charm on her necklace, which had the initials “TYH” on it—thank you, Hashem.
“That’s G-d, Malkie. There’s no coincidence. No one could have orchestrated such a thing. Only G-d.”
They went on to discuss the differences in the schools her daughter expressed interest in. He was well versed in the various yeshivot and seminaries since it was literally what he grew up observing.
Sometimes, humans feel alone, navigating this hamster wheel of life.
As children dressed in adult clothes with a certain number of years on this earth life that permits them to decide things for children you’d instead not choose, it can be scary to make the wrong decision.
I once heard this comparison of how we see life events as compared to G-d, who is above space and time. Rabbi David Fohrman compares us to pieces on a Monopoly Board; we can only see past events and speculate about the future, not appreciating how interconnected everyone’s decisions are. Meanwhile, G-d is compared to Parker Brothers, the creator of Monopoly, who is not a part of the game but is above the game. Rabbi Fohrman, in his example to help us better understand G-d in our world, reminds us that only G-d sees how past, present, and future decisions of all people are interconnected and woven into one large tapestry.
Sometimes, we, as mere humans, aren’t able to see the bigger picture, have a different perspective, or see how certain life choices will result in the ones that follow. We go from one life event to the next, making decisions along the way. When we begin to feel lost and unsure, we look heavenward and ask for help.
At times, G-d’s message is subtle, almost unperceivable. We don’t recognize it as the nudge we genuinely need to move in a specific direction. Other times, His message is so loud and clear that it provides comfort and reminds us that G-d is always there, helping and guiding us in the proper direction.
As I walked home that night, I thought about the series of events that had to happen for us to be there on that Friday night.
We all had to sit at a table that had no seating cards, the woman next to us had to overhear her husband speak to Rabbi Fuchs about his teaching in two schools, Leah had to bring up not knowing which school to send her daughter to, the chassan had to go to the school he attended in Israel and ask his rebbi to be mesader kedushin, he had to say yes, but because of the time of year, he made it into a work trip to hold interviews for next year’s students.
I could go on but think about all the intricate choreography that has to take place for Leah’s daughter to choose the right school.
Even thinking about it overwhelms me.
I guess I’ll stick to being a person and leave that complicated stuff to Hashem. n
Malkie Gordon Hirsch Magence is a native of the Five Towns community, a mom of 5, a writer, and a social media influencer.
